An Interesting Way to Train

I have always known that BYU has had some very weird training exercises. Especially with the dick squeezing. But apparently I had NO idea the kinds of things they do to prepare for games.

Let me start from the beginning so you can all understand the practices of the BYU butt fuckers.

First of all, at the beginning of the season, each player goes to the art department of the university and into the pottery department.

Then, each player fellates one another until they are all erect. Then each player has a cast made from their boner.

Finally when a mold of their dick is made, the players then choose one and keep it with them for the rest of the season.

Do they keep it in their lockers? You might be asking.

No. They keep the boner molds in their asses. And they must stay in there all the time. One might think that it would be impossible to keep a boner mold in their ass all season but they have found a way.

DILDO SUSPENDERS!!!

The dildo is attached to suspenders and worn underneath the clothes so that it stays in place. They are very similar to the orange suspenders that Mila Jovovich wears in the movie "The Fifth Element"


When Austin Collie first got his "installed" he was quoted as saying, "Now THATS how you live right off the field!"

Apparently having these dildo molds are necessary for "keeping the players in an atmosphere that they are most accustomed to." said Bronco Mendenhall.

So now you must be asking, Who has who's boner mold and does Bronco have a boner mold too?

I'll start with the Bronco Mendenhall question. No, he did not make a boner mold and he does not have one of the players boner molds that he keeps in him. He wears something special.

The Barry Bonds Butt Plug!!!

He keeps his in with a similar harness but his is made from leather.

Now to the other question. The answer is, I'm not sure. I know for a fact that Max Hall and Austin Collie traded boner molds. I also know that Fui Vakapuna has Jan Jorgensen's. After that, the rest is just speculation.

One thing that has become a little bit of a problem is that Max Hall has said that he doesn't want Collie's anymore because, "It's just too freaking small! I can walk way too straight with his."

Apparently that is why Max Hall has been begging the university to head up recruiting for next season so he can get more black guys on the team. "That way I won't be able to walk at all!"