Thursday, December 11, 2008

It All Makes Sense Now...

Well, it turns out that BYU actually wanted to go to the Vegas Bowl. And they have for the past 4 years.

Since the frist time BYU went to the Vegas Bowl they have been looking to return.
They have actually been lobbying to the MWC and the bowl committee to just let them play in it every year regardless of record.

It seems as though the BYU squad has developed kind of a tradition. Go down to Vegas where the rest of the Mormons refuse to go and let loose.

It begins with the chartered plane flight down. It was reported that last year, Bronco Mendenhall and Max Hall were making out the whole flight down.

Then they check into their hotel, the Blue Moon Hotel Resort. The only hotel in Vegas that caters exclusively to gay men.

After an afternoon frolic they put on their tights and knee high boots and hit the town.

The first stop is the Excalibur for a show. Thunder From Down Under is always the show that they watch and they ALWAYS have front row. One year, Bronco Mandenhall was ejected from the performance for trying to rape one of the men on stage.

Then they grab some dinner, which usually just consists of dippin' dots and flavored lube.

The team inevitably inds up at one of the male revues around town. The Palomino is always an option but there are women dancers there too and they think that is yucky. Sin City Strippers is also an option. That way they can call the men to them rather than have to go out looking for them.

For sure these trips are not all good. Players see how much they love it there and sometimes end up staying. Marcus Whalen, ended up staying and getting a job performing. I don't know how one would describe his performance but here is a picture to give you an idea.


If BYU ends up going to the Vegas Bowl every year that would be just fine with me. That would give Utah plenty more chance to go to meaningful bowls like the Fiesta Bowl or the Sugar Bowl. I wonder if BYU knows that no one give a shit about their dumb fuck Vegas Bowl.

Fuck you BYU. Fuck you right in your asses with a big rubber dick.

Stupid Cock Suckers.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A New Craze Sweeps Cougar Nation

So it turns out that homosexual behavior can be traced back all the way to Brigham Young. Some of his diary entries even show that dick squeezing was a mandatory exercise among the settlers.

Here is a sketch from Brigham Young's diary.


So if you were wondering where the dick squeezing came from, now you know.

It seems as though a new craze has swept across the campus of BYU and is becoming quite a distraction to most of the students and faculty.

It is called, Honeydipping.

Honeydipping is an activity where a person runs around with an outstretched arm and an extended thumb.

While in this position the person with the thumb bends at the elbow and inserts the thumb into their mouth as quickly as possible.

Then, just as quickly the person shoves the moist finger into an orifice of another person. Then extract the thumb and return it to the mouth as quickly as possible.

The orifice in question is usually the anus or the mouth. Most often the anus.

One can see how Honeydipping could be very distracting. When a BYU professor is chasing around a group of students, thumb outstretched trying to "Honeydip" or "dip" them.

Many concerns have been brought up by concerned outsiders. "That can't be sanitary" says one disgusted onlooker.

"They put it back in their mouth?" said another.

Yes indeed, they do put it back in their mouths.

As the activity has become more and more popular among the student body, leagues and clubs have begun to pop up all over campus. One of these clubs, and the most popular, is the OHL. The Official Honeydippers League.

This league has teams such as The Dippers, The Diptastic Dream Team, and Dip-o-rama.

The official song of the league is "When I Dip You Dip" by the 69 Boyz. It is played at all times.

BYU Football quarterback Max Hall is the captain of Dip-o-rama and is the proud winner of the Honeydipping MVP. The coveted "Golden Thumb."


When asked about the Honeydipping epidemic, University of Utah head coach Kyle Whittingham said, "There isn't a whole to say except that they are fucking gross."

Friday, December 5, 2008

Kinda Gross And Not In The Least Surprising...

So I've been reporting for a while that the people at BYU and especially the football players like to have things rammed up their turd cutters.

We also know that they like to suck tube steak and squeeze wieners.

A gay friend of mine who attends BYU recently took a few pictures on campus and sent them to me so I could know more fully how gay BYU is.

Now before I get to the awesome pictures, I want to comment on how stupid some people at BYU are. I mean like dumber than a sack of soggy wet testicles.

I was at the BYU vs. Utah game this year and loved watching the Utes bend BYU over and ram a cold hard dildo covered in 20 grit sandpaper right up the keister of each and every BYU player.

A few days after the game I went onto a BYU fan message board to rub it in and tell them what shit eaters they are.

I saw a comment that made me want to convince the government to do nuclear testing in Provo, Utah.

This fan said that the Utah fans were drunk and rowdy and yelling too much. Get over yourself you fucking pole smoker, that is football. Just because you dipshits don't know how to tailgate doesn't mean that we shouldn't.

The poster said that the University of Utah should install breathalyzers at the gates to ensure no one in the stadium is drunk.

Are you fucking kidding me? I wish I knew who that person was so I could go shit on his chest. How fucking stupid so you have to be to make a ass licking comment like that?

Enough of that. On to the Pictures!!!

This here is a picture of Max Hall's bicycle that he rides around campus.


This is a BYU issue dormitory chair.


If you are at all surprised by these photos then you clearly don't know anything about BYU.

The biggest group of fuck beans on the planet.